Saturday, January 19, 2013

I Want to Go!

I want to go! I want to go somewhere! I want to do something, to test myself to the limits. I want to throw myself at the world and see if I can hold up. I want to travel. I want to go places, to see things, to experience things that others only talk about, only dream about. I want to walk out the front door with $500 and a backpack, and see how far I can go. I want to hit the road, to see the world. Walking, hitching rides with trucks, trains, cars, riding a bike, whatever it takes to end up where I've not been before. I want to experience new things, to see how I manage, to see how long I can last, away from everything and everyone I've ever known.

I want to get out where the only thing keeping me from stopping, or going, is my own effort. Where what I eat, or don't, is totally dependent on my own actions. Where every bit of money I acquire comes from my own effort. Where I have to work to survive. Where I can't just fall back on the support of friends and family and lazily float along. Where even sleeping takes thought and planning.

I want to throw myself out there, and see if I can bounce. Out where no one cares whether I sleep during the day or night, whether I eat now or never, whether I keep working at what I'm doing or stop, whether I do anything productive or not. Where I can stop and compose my thoughts on the fly, not having to wait till a better time. Out where the only one to suffer from what I do or don't do is my own self.

I want to get out where interacting with people, or not, is my own choice. Where talking to strangers is something I must learn to do, or do without. Where going out of my comfort zone is nothing different, because it's all out of my comfort zone. Where I don't have to worry about looking bad, because no one would look twice anyway.

I want to learn what it's like to be cold and hungry, tired and lonely, where the only thing to keep me company is a prayer and a song. Where God is close, because, well, nothing else is. Where I am forced to trust in Him, because there is nothing else to trust in. 

I want to see what I can learn. How such experiences will help me. How such experiences will help me in reaching out to others. I want to see what sort of a person I could become, after learning to live with next to nothing, where the only thing sure and absolute is the Word of God. I want to see what sort of a benefit to humanity I can become. 

As far back as I can remember, I've always had a certain lust for adventure, a desire to pit myself against the wild, against the world, against whatever came in my path, to see if I could hold my own, to see if I could survive, how I could handle it, to prove myself, to test myself, to experience personally things others only talk about, only dream about.

During this time I've devoured every sort of real adventure story I could find. Teens sailing around the world solo, guys riding their bikes around the world, people traveling everywhere indefinitely, a man outfitting a canoe with a motor and traveling through all the major rivers in the lower US, a crew building a balsa raft to sail across the Pacific, a solo bike ride by an 18 year old covering the entire length of the Pan American highway, countless escape stories - prisoners of war, refugees, political prisoners - of every type imaginable, a Bible smuggler who visited every communist country in the world...

Additionally, I've consumed countless stories of another type of adventure. The man who walked into the jungles of South America to find an Indian tribe he wanted to be a missionary to, resulting in being made their prisoner; the missionary who was taken prisoner by Colombian guerrillas, and ended up bringing Christ to many of them; the protestant reformers, fearlessly taking on the Catholic church to spread the truths found in scripture; the soldier in Nazi Germany who would not carry a gun, showing from scripture proof that Germany would fall; the countless followers of Christ, from the Bible, from early Christian history, from the reformation, from the Great Awakening, who risked life, limb, and the pursuit of earthly happiness to follow their master; missionaries to every corner of the globe, foreign and domestic, who were ready to lay aside everything for Him...

Deep in my heart there is an insatiable longing for something far more than the boring, ordinary lives of the average earthly citizen. I want to go farther, higher, longer, deeper.. May I be willing also to risk it all for the Master.. May I put all on the line.. May I allow Him to work through my plans and schemes, to guide my planning.

This blog will serve as a chronicle of my adventures, of my musings, my wanderings, my wonderings over the next few years, as I begin to strike out on my own.

Adventure calls.

I can hardly wait to see what will happen.